The other day I had to make cookies to bring to our small group. There are about 10 of us, so I took enough cookies for everyone to have 3 if they so chose. Here’s a picture of the cookies. (I just had to put this up because most of my food isn’t worthy of a photograph, but these were pretty!) So forgive the cookie picture.
Anyway, we had a nice meal together and shared some good laughs and fellowship. We then watched an awesome documentary called The Heart of Texas. After the movie was over, everyone prepared to leave. I went into the kitchen and noticed there were several cookies left. I didn’t want to take them home, because there were already some at home! So I started offering them to the ladies that were still there. I offered to leave them with our hostess, Molly, but she refused. Then I tried to give them to our friend Kristy. She refused too. So, I took them home.
As we were riding home, I thought about how hard it used to be for me to refuse food that someone made. Store bought cookies were easy to say no to, but if I’m at Aunt Ida’s house, and she is standing there with a homemade cake or pie telling me, “But I made it just for you,” then that’s a different story. Before I started losing weight, I’d never turn down any food, store bought or not. But when I started dieting in earnest, I found myself unsure of what to do. Did I take the food just because she made it knowing I’d like it, or did I refuse the food and risk hurting her feelings?
I honestly don’t have the “right” answer for this. You may react differently than I did, but here’s what I finally decided to do. When confronted with this scenario, I had to make a decision. There were three alternatives as I saw it:
1. Take the food but don’t eat it
2. Take the food and eat it
3. Refuse the food completely
I usually chose the third option, unless I knew I could take the food and not eat it without anybody noticing. For me, although it was uncomfortable to refuse outright, I really didn’t want to eat the sweet treat that was being offered. That treat didn’t fit it with my plan, and staying on plan was important to me. You may feel differently, and I totally respect that, but that’s how I felt.
What I always found interesting was how many times the hostess would repeatedly ask me, “Are you sure?” “Here, let me wrap some up for you.” “But you like chocolate cake.” “Why don’t you want any?” “You’re not trying to diet again are you?”
Sometimes it was almost comical how hard they would try and give me dessert. But after a few polite, “No, thank you’s,” they eventually gave up, and turned their attentions to someone else.
Uncomfortable? Yes, sometimes. But I never regretted not eating the treat. The times where I gave in when I didn’t want to were the times I regretted it.
What’s your feeling on this topic? It’s a sensitive one to be sure. I don’t think there is a right or wrong way to handle it though. Just as a side note – even all these years into maintenance, I still choose option number 3 more often than not. Not because I want to hurt someone’s feelings, but because often times the food they are offering really isn’t something I want right then. Diane
By the way, Steve is doing a 100 day challenge with a homemade prize!