I talked last week about the fact that I didn’t feel as though I was losing things while I went from over 300 pounds to about 147 pounds, rather I felt as though I was gaining health, fitness, and improving my self-esteem.
In the midst of all the good things that happened there were some unfortunate consequences, or “fall-out” from my weight loss success. There was the loss of my best friend of over 10 years. Our relationship didn’t survive my weight loss success. She said mean things to me so often that I finally believed she didn’t want to be my friend at all. There were times where I felt isolated in social situations where fattening food was all that was offered. When I refused to eat any goopy cake or store bought cookies my friends sometimes made fun of me or mocked me. (All in the name of “teasing.)
Even my sweet husband was confused at first when I insisted on exercising every day. It took him some time to realize that I wasn’t taking any time away from the family, but rather was able to give more time and energy to the family because I felt so much better about myself.
I read an article in Social Work Today that indicated that many people have problems with their life relationships after losing a substantial amount of weight, including a higher divorce rate.
It made me think about the people I know who have lost weight and made me very glad that John and I did not have marriage issues after I lost 150 pounds.
Reading that article gave me an interest to explore this further, and who better to ask their experiences then all of you blogging friends.
I have known quite a few people who have lost a substantial amount of weight. Some have had struggles in their relationships and some haven’t. I thought about some of the reasons why relationships may struggle when someone drastically changes their appearance and lifestyle. The two words that came into my mind were expectations and insecurity.
Expectations that a relationship will always continue in a certain manner, including appearance, habits, and life goals.
Insecurity that comes about after those expectations aren’t met.
As you travel this journey have you given any thought to your relationships? My hope for you is that your relationships, both friendships and more, will survive your journey to health unscathed and stronger.
Any thoughts on why relationships can change after weight loss and can anything be done to help save the relationship? Diane