What Is Weighing You Down?

Have you ever said to yourself or to someone else, “It is just weighing on me.” You may have said this phrase or something similar to it when you are feeling tired, are worried about something in your life, or are just feeling in a funk.

I believe that there are often things in our life that weigh us down emotionally and sometimes physically that can have an adverse affect on our weight loss progress.

For me, there were several things that weighed me down and made it difficult to successfully lose weight until I did two things.

1) Identified them

2) Had a strategy to help me deal with them.

Fortunately, I did not have physical limitations such as diabetes, serious illnesses, or thyroid problems to weigh me down, but I did have some other limitations – some of which were self-imposed.

I realized that I was allowing several things to weigh me down to the point of inactivity on the weight loss front. My top three things were:

1) Unrealistic expectations

2) Fear

3)  Lack of willingness to make permanent change

When I began my final weight loss journey, I discovered these issues very soon into that process. I did have unrealistic expectations of how quickly or easily I would be able to lose weight. I knew I needed to lose over 150 pounds, but I secretly hoped it would only take a few months rather than over a year. I experienced some fear of failure because I had failed so many times in the past, and I was also finding it hard to acknowledge that I needed to make a permanent change when it came to my life or else I would never be able to maintain the weight loss.

To combat the issue of unrealistic expectations, I broke my weight loss down into 5 pound increments and tried to be thrilled with every 5 pound loss I had. (I say “tried to be thrilled” because even though I was happy I had lost 5 pounds, I wanted it to be more and more and more.  In order to put the fear of failure behind me, I told myself that not trying again would be more of a failure than trying and failing. And to help myself make a permanent change I wrote down all the reasons that I was unhappy being morbidly obese and all the reasons that I had to lose half my size.

Although I had other things that tried to weigh me down during my journey, they were more minor in nature to me compared to the big three. Smaller things like worrying about loose skin, or worrying about what people would think of me after I lost the weight.

If you have ever struggled to stay motivated to be on a diet, I’d encourage you to really think about what may be weighing you down.

Have you identified things in your life that are trying to hinder your weight loss success? How do you handle them?  Diane

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22 thoughts on “What Is Weighing You Down?

  1. Jill says:

    Currently the only thing weighing me down is me. My mind. My attitude. I know what I need to do. I know how to do what I need to do. I just need to do it and feel good about it. Does that make sense? I am my road block right now. Sigh…

  2. Sharon says:

    My spouse’s lack of interest in healthy eating or making changes to OUR way of eating weighs me down. He is so very proud of me, but has no interest whatsoever in making changes himself. And quite frankly, his diet is deplorable, but with no weight problem and extremely healthy stats, he sees no reason to change. Too much detail to write in a comment, but it does make things more difficult and as I approach maintenance realizing that my changes are permanent, I see lots of conflict in the future. I don’t mean between the two of us, just between our philosophies and always feeling as if we’re eating two separate dinners!

  3. Emergefit says:

    My experience with weight-loss clients is that “unrealistic expectations” is probably the single biggest derailer of the best laid plans. Most people entering a weight-loss endeavor believe the process is going to be much easier and faster than what it will really be. I caution them again and again, but people hear what they want to hear. When those high expectations are not met, I have seen time and time again, people step back into their old habits.

    It takes work, time and patience…

  4. WishfulShrinking says:

    Great post! This is really what I think the difference with my OA recovery and any diet I ‘d ever gone on is that in the 4th step we look at all of our resentments and then have a plan to deal with them. The lightness I felt once all the baggage of my life was out of my mind really made me feel free not to carry it on my body. I was at a play date with friends recently and someone used the expression, “She really likes to throw her weight around.” I think sometimes I was heavier to have impact in my life.

  5. Vickie says:

    I think your weight loss (150lbs in a year) was actually very fast. It took me two years to loose 60lbs and then when I decided to loose the last 20lbs, it took me 6 mos. I mention this only because you wrote you had an unrealistic idea of how long it woul take. I think I was slow and I think you were fast and I think there is a whole lot of room in the middle.

  6. Caron says:

    The workers at Weight Watchers including the leaders are constantly having to deal with unhappy people who feel they are not losing weight fast enough. Even though we hear “You didn’t gain that weight in a couple of weeks and it will take a while to lose it.” we somehow think in our head that we can lose it all in a few weeks. Too often we also think of it as a “diet” that will end once we lose some weight. Adjusting to the idea that I would always have to do this to maintain was huge for me.

    It took me nine months to lose 32 pounds so you really did great to lose so fast. Of course, I’m much older than you too. 🙂

  7. C says:

    2 things I feel are weighing me down, but not stopping me, are fear and back pain. I have never been as small as I am now in my adult life and I still have about 40lbs to lose. I’m afraid of what that life will look like and what I will look like. But that won’t stop me it is an adventure that I am excited to be taking on. I have had back pain since November and am trying hard to fix it. I am being patient while trying different treatment plans but it is very hard sometimes. It is very hard to push yourself while in pain and some of the active things I had planned/dreamed to do are still on hold. But I can’t let that stop me I have lost 70lbs since August most of the time with back pain. I’m sure that I could have lost more if I was able to workout in more strenuous ways. But its a good thing for me that diet is like 80% of the equasion.

  8. La. says:

    Oh I relate to unrealistic expectations. I mean seriously, I’m not going to lose it all by the wedding I want to look good at. Instead of trying to look my best by then I want to give up since I won’t be at my goal. That is how I rationalize not eating clean one day….. For the love. I love it when u remind me of these things!!!

  9. Lisa says:

    What my road block was for a long time was myself saying “I’ll always just be fat” and “nothing works.” Not true. It DOES work if you do it consistently and honestly!

  10. Jody - Fit at 54 says:

    Diane – great post& many have things that do hold them back & for many it is as simple as themselves too… so many reasons though but I do think many want the easier way & that holds us back because as Roy said, unrealistic expectations….

  11. Christie @ Pathtothehalf says:

    My top thing is unrealistic expectations also! I know that it will take a long time, probably the entire year and a little more to get to my goal weight, but I really want to step on that scale tomorrow and see it all gone 🙂 I understand the permanent change, what is different for me this time is that in my “changes” I made to lose weight, I have vowed to (and subsequently not) made any changes I couldn’t live with forever. That is why it works this time and I will never go back!

  12. Elizabeth says:

    What can weigh me down or derail my success is realizing that the best rewards are not food related. After I have an extremely busy day or something challenging come up, I think “I deserve a treat.” I now try to find other things for a reward such as a new magazine, time for yoga, or a hot bath. I find that I cheat or splurge when I feel like I deserve too. I need to realize that I deserve to succeed. Baby steps 🙂

    I also have a spouse that is proud of my accomplishments but does not eat healthy nor is he willing to change his eatiing habits. One day I was doing wii fit step aerobics in the living room while he was sitting on the couch drinking coke and eating pie. Really…

  13. I ❤ 2 Eat says:

    The number on the scale weighs me down. A little bit of fluctuation, and I go into a “What’s the point?” kind of mentality. I’ve tried to actively work on this, but somehow think this will plague me forever!

  14. Ivana says:

    Oh, fear. What a struggle. I was so afraid, and so convinced that I couldn’t lose weight, that I never even had the problem of unrealistic expectations. In fact, I was in denial of my weight problem for so long, that I didn’t know what to even expect regarding weight loss. I was afraid that I couldn’t lose weight, or that, if I did, I would gain it all back. I didn’t have a lot of role models when it came to maintaining lost weight, so the picture looked grim. But I knew I needed to do something, and I had to have faith that I could do it.

    I relate most strongly to your third point: Lack of willingness to make permanent change. Once I made the commitment to lose weight, I knew it was a one-time deal: I had to keep it off. I had been delaying taking responsibility for my own health for so long, I knew I needed to make change, and there would be no going back. I fundamentally shifted my philosophy about food, eating, taking care of myself, and how I organized my day, and this was a big leap for me. No more casually baking a few dozen cookies and eating most of them. No more endless evenings in front of the TV. I had to mourn the loss of a way of life that was putting me in a bad place. It took me fully a YEAR to decide to even do this. But after I left my first weight watchers meeting, I cried. I *did* feel like a weight had been lifted from my shoulders. That lightness has sustained me over the years as I have learned that maintenance is achievable, and not that difficult, but with the understanding that persistence and a respect for my future self is the recipe for joy.

    Thank you for this blog. In a world seeped in weight loss stories, you have no idea how comforting and liberating it is to read about the real world, positive experiences of maintenance.

  15. Dr. J says:

    I also like what Roy said. I don’t have too many expectations with myself, but I do find myself disappointed with others because of my expectations. It’s my problem.

  16. Jane says:

    Hi Diane,

    I just found your blog and wow, I’m so inspired! It’s not easy to lose as much as you did and keep it off. You are truly amazing! In regards to your post, I think one reason that people are prevented from achieving their goals is because they delay the beginning. They wait for their birthday, new year’s, tomorrow. Following up decisions with action is so important.

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