I want to warn you now that this post is outside of my normal posts, but I wanted to bring up an issue and see what your thoughts are.
The issue is the “judgmental” or “mean” blogger. (And if we are honest, there are judgmental or mean people in real life too.)
I understand there are blogs out there whose purpose is to poke fun at people and be scandalous. Those aren’t the types of blogs I’m talking about. I’m talking about the blogs who are written by people who have either lost weight or are losing weight but are continually pointing out the faults they see in other bloggers.
I think this is pathetic.
Just because a blogger is not currently losing weight or continually makes excuses for their behavior does not mean that the “mean” blogger needs to point it out to the world.
If someone had followed my 10 years of obesity and watched me make excuses over and over again, I probably would have been a target of the mean weight loss bloggers. They might say things like, “That Diane, she just makes excuses and keeps gaining and losing the same 20 pounds over and over. Ha! Ha!”
It would have been true, but is it necessary for us in the weight loss world to pass such strong judgment on other people? I don’t think so.
Now we don’t need to offer false encouragement and platitudes, but some of the things I have been reading lately are not even polite and are downright rude. I understand that when we blog, we open ourselves up to public scruinity but for one weight loss blogger to be so openly hateful to another just because he/she is not currently losing weight is ridiculous.
It took me 10 years of failure before I finally lost weight. Ten long years. But I finally did it and who is to say that some of the struggling bloggers we all see won’t eventually do it as well?
I’ve read (and stopped reading) blogs where I can see that the person isn’t ready or willing to lose weight at the moment. I have occasionally commented or left a positive suggestion, but often I just leave them alone because I can’t change them if they aren’t ready. It’s not my place. But I would never belittle them or point out their failures to my readers. It’s just mean.
I’ve seen the judgmental bloggers call the struggling bloggers bad names, accuse them of lying, point out their physical flaws, and even link to the struggling blogger so the mean bloggers readers can also laugh at the struggling blogger. I also see bloggers who try and make other people feel badly for not following their particular weight loss plan. (And because I try very hard to not be a mean blogger, I will not link to any of these blogs I’m talking about.)
I’m generally not a champion for the underdog, but I know how hurtful it would be for me to have been the target of such meanness, hatefulness, and judgment.
I say that we should follow this old adage that most of our mothers taught us. “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.”
I know I’m sensitive about this, because I would have been one of those struggling bloggers (had there been blogs when I lost weight) and the mean comments would have done nothing for me except hurt my feelings and make me less likely to finally succeed.
What are your thoughts? Diane