This Woman Offered No Treats Or Help to Children

Neighbor Sends Obese Letters to Kids

I’m sure you have heard about the North Dakota woman who planned on handing out the following letter to the parents of obese children who visited her house on Halloween last night.

The text of the letter reads:

“Happy Halloween and Happy Holidays Neighbor:

You are probably wondering why your child has this note; have you ever heard the saying, “It take a village to raise a child”? I am disappointed in “the village” of Fargo Moorhead, West Fargo.

Your child is, in my opinion, is moderately obese and should not be consuming sugar and treats to the extent of some children this Halloween season.

My hope is that you will step up as a parent and ration candy this Halloween and now allow your child to continue these unhealthy eating habits.

Thank you”

All I can say is what a totally inappropriate way to spread the message of healthy eating for kids.

First of all, if a child read the letter before the parent did, that boy or girl would probably feel bad about themselves, which does no good. If the parent reads the letter, he or she won’t get any new information because parents tend to know if their child is overweight or not.

On a much smaller scale, this reminds me of the Georgia campaign that pointedly displayed pictures of overweight children with provocative messages. That did not go over well either.


The way to combat the childhood obesity problem is by educating parents on the importance of feeding their kids a healthy diet. It also involves educating kids because kids aren’t dumb. My younger kids may not understand macronutrients but they know how to read a food label.

 I would never in a million years give that kind of letter to children. Would you? How could it possibly help? Diane

18 thoughts on “This Woman Offered No Treats Or Help to Children

  1. Tracy L says:

    My heart truly sunk when I heard this news. I simply cannot believe we have gotten to a place in our world where people think it okay to be this cruel, especially to children who are still physically growing into themselves. Not to mention the fact that her logic is tragically flawed, that she is sending out the message that if you are not thin, you are not good enough. But I have to wonder-is this media story true? The woman has asked to remain anonymous. But she surely has been discovered if she gave out those letters? Surely the public would discover who she is and she would be shunned. Am I the only one thinking this?

  2. Jane says:

    Rule #1 I would never in my life give such a letter.
    Rule #2 I would never in my life egg someone or their house.
    In this woman’s case I would would break rule #2.

    The eggs would be chicken, not Cadbury.

  3. Mary says:

    I don’t know where I’ve been but I had not seen this story.

    I think she has to have a screw loose – because who does that? That is absolutely craziness.

    This is not going to help anyone get healthier – in fact if they are like me, it would make me want to eat all the candy out of my kids bags.

  4. Mark Miller says:

    What? That is just insane. She needs to have counseling because there is no way that is okay.

    Not only does it not help – it really could make the child depressed or feel bad. I don’t even know if I would be able to be civil to her if she gave that kind of letter to my kids.

  5. Susan Kewer says:

    I’m with your other readers – this is just crazy.

    I wonder what she thought she would accomplish? Surely not anything positive. I’m just surprised she hasn’t been identified yet.

  6. Tanvee says:

    This is the meanest thing ever!!!!! I feel every parents does the best for their kids and nobody else has the right to judge them….bad bad lady 🙁

  7. Babbalou says:

    I can’t say anything critical about Ms. Judgy Pants that hasn’t already been said. The letters will cause hurt feelings and anger, neither of which are helpful. But Diane, your comment that “parents tend to know if their child is overweight or not” is surprisingly not always the case. When a study was done in Canada, “about 26% of parents of overweight children and 15% of parents of obese children were not concerned about their children’s weight.” You can see the results of the study here if you’re interested:

    The failure of so many parents to recognize the fact that their children are overweight or obese makes addressing the problem of childhood obesity more difficult. Of course it does not excuse the complete cluelessness and absolute rudeness of the Halloween letter lady.

  8. Kim says:

    No – I would never dream of giving that type of letter to anyone especially a child. And if someone gave something like that to one of my kids it would not be pretty!!
    Kids can be cruel and if another kid read the note given to his “buddy” it could turn into a school wide joke. I hope that lady rethought her plan and didn’t hand out the notes.

  9. Beth@WeightMaven says:

    It looks like this was a radio station prank. This is the same station that supposedly had a woman calling thinking that deer crossing signs were for deer. Interestingly, the latter woman sounds a lot like the Halloween lady.

    • Kara says:

      I hope this is a hoax. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that it originated from a radio station.

      If an adult has an issue with giving out candy to overweight kids on Halloween they can either not give out candy or they can give out a non-food option to all with no commentary!

  10. Hope K says:

    That’s just vicious. It might be well-meaning, but as my dear mother is fond of saying, “The road to hell is paved with good intentions.” If she feels so strongly about good nutrition, she could have passed out oranges, apples, or little packages of berries tied with an orange ribbon. The kids might have thrown them out (however, some kids probably would have liked them — I know my son loves some kinds of fruit), but that way she could have made her point without being a jerk. Shaming and bullying are not good ways to improve the eating habits of people in the US. Positive reinforcement is always the better route.

  11. Jenea Mason says:

    I used to be an overweight child and I can honestly tell you that had I ever received a letter like this I would have been devastated! I believe it’s highly inappropriate for this woman to hand out letters like this, and worse think she’s doing it for the right reasons. I don’t believe that Halloween is the sole cause of childhood obesity. It’s one day a year. The problem lies with the day to day lives and habits these children are facing. Maybe instead of handing out a nasty letter she could have made a healthy treats and handed those out instead. This is just another form of bullying in my opinion.

  12. Rosie says:

    I hope she got nothing but tricks. She has to be mentally ill to think that is okay to do. Why not just keep her mouth shut and porch light off and not give out candy!

  13. jeanette says:

    So sad. Fat shaming our children. If they are overweight they need our kindness and encouragement…after all, if we can barely stay in the fight for health and fitness, just imagine what they face?

  14. blackhuff says:

    I too feel that this is the incorrect way to advocate healthy eating when it comes to children. My first thought as well, was what these children thought when they read this note of this lady? How heartbroken and embarrassed did they feel? This is like bullying in my eyes.

  15. PlumPetals says:

    I can understand hesitating to give children candy, but this is not the way at all. If she didn’t want to give the children candy, then she could have found something else to give to them. It’s not her place to reprimand, especially in such a manner. Sad.

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