Diane

I got a very excellent question from a reader over the weekend. She was interested in whether focusing on goals or behaviors was more important in the weight loss process.

This is such an important concept to consider in many areas of our lives, but especially when trying to get to a healthier weight. Losing weight does involve setting goals, it does involve changing behaviors, and it does involve a lot of soul-searching.

Goal setting is absolutely important in the weight loss and fitness arenas; however, we sometimes get so involved in setting goals that we forget what will ultimately lead us to meeting those goals.

Behavioral changes enable us to meet goals.

Behavioral changes and healthy choices are what get us to that ultimate goal of losing weight and keeping it off. Without change, there is no way you will reach your goal. For example, as I outline in my book, one of the techniques I decided to use to get to a healthier weight was to exercise regularly. My goal was to start an exercise program, but unless I made the behavioral change of getting up earlier and actually walking down the street, I was never going to meet that goal.

Another example of a necessary behavioral change is our food choices. We may set a goal of eating less processed food, but unless we change our purchasing behavior and consumption of processed foods, we will not ever reach that particular goal. Portion control is another behavioral change that is necessary to help us not only control calories, but also to learn to be satisfied with a reasonable portion. (This can be hard in our super-sized society.)

Other areas in the weight loss arena that involve behavioral changes may be making a commitment to eating breakfast, running a certain distance, becoming more flexible, reducing the number of calories eaten, or counting calories. Each of those goals require at least one or more behaviors.

If you focus only on a goal such as “I’m going to lose 20 pounds by March 1st,” you may find yourself easily discouraged if you do not meet that goal. Likewise, if you set a goal of fitting into a certain pair of jeans by a high school reunion or other event, and don’t reach your goal, you may quit trying.

I used to be very guilty of setting what turned out to be unrealistic goals and quitting my weight loss efforts. I also failed in changing my behaviors to meet those goals which were attainable. I somehow wanted the whole weight loss process to magically work without a lot of behavioral changes. For most of us, we have become overweight because of poor choices in certain areas of our lives – whether it is food choices, a sedentary lifestyle, or a combination of both.

For us, behavioral changes allow us to meet our goals.

As you move from weight loss to weight maintenance, cementing those positive behavioral changes by practice, practice, practice can help you maintain your weight for years to come.

What do you think? How are behavioral changes and goal setting interlinked in weight loss? Diane

I’ll just go ahead and tell you my opinion to this question.

“Yes,” there are bad foods. There are absolutely foods that I will not eat no matter who offers it to me.

However, when I weighed over 300 pounds, I didn’t feel that way. There was no food that I would have classified as bad. The only foods that I wouldn’t eat were those that I didn’t like. If I wanted to eat a whole container of ice cream or two double cheeseburgers with fries, I would.

I knew in my head that those foods weren’t great for me, but I tried to convince myself that it didn’t matter what I ate.

My reasoning was that I was so fat and I might as well eat whatever I wanted to no matter the calories or healthfulness of it. I absolutely seemed impossible to lose 150 pounds. I did feel guilty sometimes, but I just ignored the guilt and ate away.

The concept of good foods for me versus bad foods never entered my mind. Cereals could be chocolate, lunch could be a couple of processed “Lunchables” and dinner could be a fried Monte Cristo sandwich complete with a Death by Chocolate dessert.

I ate “bad” for me foods all the time. When I started writing this post, part of me wanted to say that there are no truly “bad” foods because I honestly believe in moderation, but even with a moderation philosophy, I do believe there are foods that are just plain bad for us.

Bad for our health. Bad for our weight. Set a bad example for our kids.

I thought it would be interesting here at the end of the year to ask you to think back throughout this year and share whether there are foods that you 1) classified as bad and 2) avoided completely.

Here are a few from my absolutely won’t eat list:

Movie theatre popcorn – Did you know there are between 1000 and 1200 calories, and 60 grams of saturated fat in a large tub of movie popcorn? Not to mention the sodium. I just can’t do it!

Donuts – Unnecessary, high in calories, not filling. A total non-food.

Chicken Pot Pie unless I make it – Marie Callendar’s chicken pot pie has 1040 calories and 24 grams of fat. Other brands are similar, and restaurant pies are even worse.

Most canned soups – The sodium counts on most of these makes these an absolute  no on my list.

Beef and pork – I know there is nothing inherently wrong with these. It all started when I got Ecoli food poisoning and was in the hospital for four days. I had eaten a restaurant hamburger that wasn’t completely done. That crossed beef off my list, and pork soon followed.

Soft drinks – I stopped drinking these a long time ago. The calories are high (240 for 20 ounces), and most of the diet drinks have artificial sweeteners, which I try to avoid.

My list has changed over the years, but these are a few of the foods currently on my “bad” list. I have a lot more but didn’t want to take up the whole post on my list!

Do you foods that are on your “bad” list?  Diane

I’ll be the first one to admit it. I cannot stand those trifle desserts. You know, the ones that look like this:

Sure, they are pretty to look at, but have you ever thought about what goes into those things? Here’s a standard ingredient list:

You can’t just turn your back on food. Substances that some people struggle with such as tobacco and alcohol are optional, but food isn’t optional. We need food for our very being, whereas smoking cigarettes or drinking alcohol are not necessary for life.

Food is an integral part of our social lives as well. We all know that in our heart, but what happens when we begin to use food as more than just a necessity for survival, and begin relying on food to fill needs for which it was not intended?

Socrates said:

Eat to live, not live to eat.

Even though Socrates wasn’t writing about weight management, his thought is still applicable today. For thousands of years humans have used food to mark celebrations. Think about the ancient religious celebrations and the rite of passages those cultures celebrated with special feasts and meals. Food is timeless, and is still important to us for our bodily health and held in a place of importance in our social lives as well.

When I struggled with my own obesity, I wasn’t just eating to live. I used food as both a source of fuel for my body and a salve for my emotions. In a lot of ways, I began using food in an inappropriate way.

There were only rare moments throughout the day where I wasn’t thinking about food.

It didn’t matter if I was brushing my teeth, working on the computer, blow drying my hair, or playing with the children. I was oftentimes thinking about food. I’d think about what food I had in the pantry, whether I should drive to McDonald’s for a milkshake, or consider if I had time prepare a fancy dessert for after the evening meal.

Even while eating dinner and the dessert I’d just prepared, I’d be thinking about what my after-dinner snack would be. Would I rather have ice cream and chocolate syrup or tortilla chips smothered with cheese?

Food was my ever present mental companion.

When we think about eating to live and not allowing food to rule us or or emotions, we have to think about what that shift in attitude looks like in real life. Some of us are super disciplined and never stray beyond whole, clean foods for the rest of our  lives, and we really do use food as a source of nourishment and rarely think of food in an inappropriate way as I so often did.

But for many people, that strict existence is difficult. It is for me. Personally, I do still make special foods for people’s birthdays, make special desserts for celebrations, and do associate certain foods with holidays. (Think pecan pie at Thanksgiving.) Because I still have seven kids living at home, a large part of my day is spent planning for and preparing meals and snacks.

But I no longer live my life to eat, nor do I spend inordinate amounts of time thinking about food.

My views of food have transformed over the years from being almost obsessive about it to enjoying it in a more healthy way.

In the morning when I wake up, I don’t think about chocolate cake or wonder whether John took all of the leftover soup, nor do I fret when the children start to eat the last of the snacks. Rather I just go on with my morning, not really thinking about food. When it’s time to make breakfast, lunch or dinner, I just make what is on my menu board and keep moving forward with my day.

Food is no longer always on my mind. I still love to eat good food, but I don’t love thinking about food all the time. It’s been very freeing emotionally to let go of focusing on food all day long.

I remember noticing the transition about midway through my weight loss. One day, at about 11:00 in the morning after I had lost about 50 pounds or so, I distinctly recall thinking, “I haven’t thought about extra food all morning.” I had begun the change from an unhealthy obsession with food to a more normal, balanced existence.

How often do you think about food? I’m not saying it’s bad to think about food, because it certainly is not – but it may not be emotionally healthy to think about food all day long, every day, without fail. 

The transition for me came slowly, but it did come. It can come for you too. Diane

Even though I live in the South, there are a lot of mornings where the temperatures drop below freezing. Yesterday morning when I checked the weather on my beloved iPhone, it was 38 degrees. Brrrr.

I remember driving to work in early winter mornings before I had children and I would see people running alongside the road, their breath puffing out into the frigid air. I would disdainfully say to myself, “Why in the world would anyone get out and exercise in sub-freezing temperatures? What are they trying to prove?”

Yes, I admit it. I was judging those people because I felt guilty that I had not exercised regularly in years and was rapidly gaining weight. As I went from just overweight to morbidly obese, I began even more critical of folks who exercised in the cold (or hot) weather. “Really,” I’d think to myself, “What are you trying to prove?”

Once I began exercising in earnest and saw the pounds and dress sizes falling away, I changed my attitude towards people who exercised in inclement weather. In fact, I became one of them!

Over the 16+ years that I’ve maintained my weight loss, there are very few days where I skip my exercise because of cold weather. When it drops below 15 degrees or if the ground is slippery with ice or snow, I find a workout to do indoors rather than skipping it completely. I feel sure that if I lived in the North, I’d likely invest in a treadmill or a gym membership.

What changed for me?

I realized that people who exercised in the cold weren’t trying to show off or prove something to those of us driving by. Instead, they were exercising for themselves. For their health, their weight management, and for their emotional health. I became one of the “I believe in exercise people.”

If you ever find yourself tempted to skip a workout because of cold weather, here are 5 reasons to get up and exercise.

1. Exercise can help you compensate for extra calories we may tend to eat during the holiday season. Although I’m not an advocate of eating your exercise calories burned, I do understanding that those calories burned during exercise can help us with weight management.

2. Winter exercise helps you stay consistent. If you find yourself wanting to slack off during the winter, you may find it hard to get started again once the weather turns warm because you are out of the habit. Doing some form of exercise all year long is the best way to keep exercise as a habit and not an occasional endeavor.

3. It’s a great time to try something new. If you live in a climate that makes outdoor exercising impossible, these winter months are a great time to focus on strength training, flexibility, or adding a new cardio routine to your workout. We have a heated indoor pool at the university here, and it is kinda fun to go swimming on a morning where the temperature is in the 30’s!

4. You can get new workout clothes. I know that’s a silly reason, but you do need different clothing for winter workouts – right?

5. You will never be sorry. I’m never sorry when I drag myself out of bed on a frosty morning and exercise (either indoors or out). However, I am sorry when I just skip my workout because I don’t want to be inconvenienced by having to dress in layers or be cold until my body gets warmed up once I’m actually exercising.

How do you do with winter workouts? Have you ever let exercise fall by the wayside when it gets cold or are you consistent year-round? Diane

I’ve got a couple of good recipes coming your way next week, but rather you just throw caution to the wind over Thanksgiving and eat whatever you want to, or choose to transform some of your family favorites into lower calories choices, I wanted to encourage you in one area:

Mentally prepare yourself for the coming holiday season.

The truth is that having a recipe for mental preparation this time of year is critical in ensuring that you get through the holidays triumphantly. Now is no time to let your guard down!

Speaking from personal experience, the holidays aren’t always completely full of gladness and joy. For many of us, there are events from our past that cause us to have some sad and painful memories during the holidays. I think it’s important to mentally prepare yourself for all the aspects of the upcoming events, from the food to the emotions.

I failed to do this for many years, and instead, found myself sometimes feeling a bit down and on edge. (Not that I don’t feel that way occasionally at other times as well!) But during the holiday season, I expected myself to be happy, to be ready for any party, and to be constantly full of joy! But sometimes I wasn’t and it made me stressed.

Then, I’d turn to food for comfort.

Like many other people who struggle with obesity, emotional issues were a large part of the reason I weighed over 300 pounds. Learning how to handle some of the negative emotions that appeared during the Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays was an important part of my weight loss journey and eventual success.

I had to realize that I didn’t have to be “Happy, Happy, Happy” every second of the holiday, and that feeling some sadness over the past was not only okay, but was normal for me.

Nowadays, I never blame my obesity on anything other than my own choices, but I know there were past circumstances from my childhood that I allowed to affect my food choices once I became an adult.

For some reason, the holidays bring back a lot of those sad memories, and I had to make a conscious effort to acknowledge the memory or situation, but not allow those feelings to give me an excuse to eat in an out of control way.

It took a lot of effort to tell  myself, “No, I do not NEED to eat five or six chocolate cookies or spoonful after spoonful of pie right now. What I need is some time with John or to take a walk.” Each time I made a good choice and didn’t end up hiding in the pantry eating cookies while other people were watching football or worked in a kitchen was a victory.

On the opposite end of the spectrum from what I occasionally experienced, some people find the holidays so joyful and have so many wonderful memories of celebrating while surrounded with people close to them, they overeat because they are happy!

A sweet woman in a weight loss class I taught shared how she had such positive memories from her childhood that she ate too much simply because of the good feelings surrounding the holidays. Several other people expressed the same feelings, and I could see where those types of positive memories were equally important to be aware of.

We talk a lot in the weight loss world about planning and preparation in terms of recipes, food and menus. I wanted to encourage you to take the time to mentally prepare yourself in the same way that you physically prepare for holidays and social situations.

How well prepared are you emotionally for the upcoming season? Do you have a “recipe” for mental preparation that works, or is this not an issue for you? Either way, I’d love to hear your thoughts.  Diane

A few weeks ago I was talking to a group of moms about healthy eating for families. We got on the topic was that of treats, and even though most of the moms were interested in healthy living,  there were some differing opinions on the issues of treats in our diets.

The topic is timely with Halloween just around the corner and some major holidays looming ahead.

Some moms felt like holidays are just one day and to just have a treat, others felt that using the word treat implies that there are good and bad foods, and still other moms seemed to not encourage eating treats at all. And then there were some other people who had ideas for improving the healthfulness of traditional treats by using healthy substitutions in recipes or giving out stickers or pretzels in place of candy.

In our house, we try not to use the word “treat” in relation to food unless we are feeding it to our little doggie. She gets a treat, we get food.

When it comes to holidays and special occasions that seem to invariably revolve around food, I tend to not say “Here is a treat for Christmas,” but rather say, “I’ve made a special dessert of cherry cheesecake for our Christmas dinner dessert.” Even the candy in our children’s stockings (and yes they get some) is referred to as candy and not treats.

Does it matter? I’m honestly not sure.

Treats Defined

The dictionary defines treat as “An item that is out of the ordinary and gives great pleasure.” With that definition, candy and other desserts definitely can fall into the treat category, although I still tend to avoid the word treat in regards to food.

Typical Treats

When I googled food treats, I mostly came up with dog treat websites, so I added in food treats for humans and then I got even more dog food treats. Finally, I used treats in dieting and got the results I was looking for.  There were a lot of ideas on treats, such as this article from WebMD which gives some good strategies for handing treats, from limiting their availability to substituting healthier foods for traditionally unhealthy foods.

Typical treats seem to include: candy, cakes, sodas, pies, cookies, brownies, frozen desserts, and chocolate. Some people said that fruit was a treat, but I’d venture that in most American families, fruit is fruit and not a treat.

The Psychology of a Word

When I was obese, I used to say things like this: “I’ve had a busy day so I need a treat.” I’d then make a pan of brownies as my treat. That was not healthy behavior. Using the word treat in relation to food almost seemed to give me permission to indulge because I thought I deserved it.

Somewhere along my weight loss journey I shifted into saying, “I will have a small piece of that cake.” I did not qualify my choice with the word “treat” nor justify my choice because I had had a busy day. Instead, I made the choice to have a piece of cake that day.

Do you see the difference that made for me? I think it also makes a difference to children, because when we tell them that certain foods are “treats” for holidays or  rewards for good behaviors it may set them up to use food to “treat” themselves later in life when they experience stressful job situations, challenging days with their kids, or find themselves struggling emotionally.

Where do you fall on using the word “treat” to refer to foods? Does it matter to you? Am I being silly?  Diane

If you are someone who believes there is one perfect way to lose weight then you might better not read this post. If you want to cast stones at other people because you don’t like the way they are losing weight, you will not like my post today.

I see a lot of backbiting on blogs and get a lot of emails from people who disagree with me and other people when they talk about the possibility of using a variety of food types to lose weight from organic foods to processed foods. I got an email yesterday from someone who was annoyed that I said that you could use processed snacks to help you lose weight. This person said that she would no longer read my blog because the snacks I talked about had as much sugar as a Snickers bar.

The truth of the matter is that study after study shows that in the long run, it is the calories that matter when you lose weight. I’ve worked with many working moms who used a lot of processed foods to lose weight. They bought Lean Cuisines for lunch, used diet bread for toast, snacked on fruit, vegetables and 100-calorie packs, and fixed dinner using processed foods. They lost weight and in some cases, have kept it off.

I’ve also worked with people who avoided processed foods and ate mainly whole, unprocessed foods. They also lost weight and in some cases, have kept it off.

The process does not have to look the same for all people. Sure it is healthier to eat a clean diet, but for some people, they either don’t want to or choose not to. That’s their choice. For any of us to say there is just one perfect way to lose weight is just plain wrong. (Now I’m not saying that we should all follow the Twinkie Diet or just eat 1,200 calories worth of Cheetos – that would be just ridiculous and obviously unhealthy.)

Would you tell me it was wrong that I drank a lot of diet soda when I lost weight? Would you tell me that drinking diet soda made my weight loss wrong? You might – but you would be mistaken because I still managed to lose 158 pounds even drinking diet soda. I also ate Snackwell cookies on occasion, bought fat-free ice cream, ate baked processed chips, and a lot of other foods that some people might say have no place in our diet.

Was it perfect? No.

Did it work? Yes.

Was it harmful to me? Probably not.

The truth is that this journey into healthier living is just that. It’s a journey and my journey and your journey and Sally’s journey and Joe’s journey are all different. One mom I helped lose weight hated to cook, had three kids between the ages of 6 and 10, and lost weight working two jobs. She didn’t have the time or money to buy all organic food, prepare all her lunches ahead of time, or spend the money on expensive organic grains. She made the best choices she could and kept her calorie level appropriate for her weight loss goals and lost weight.

During my weight loss journey I focused on portions, exercise, and fat. That worked for me. Over time, as I have learned more about nutrition, my eating has become more unprocessed. That’s been my journey and I’m proud to say that I learn something new about cooking and food almost every week. I may still not like brussel sprouts, but at least I’ve tried them. Steel cut oats may not be my favorite, but I have them more often than I do flaked oats.

To judge someone because they are not eating as “perfectly” as you think they should makes me annoyed. This weight loss journey is complicated and a learning process. I’d rather see someone making use of lower calorie products and losing weight than someone who sits around and just “talks” about their journey without taking any action and complaining that they just can’t lose weight.

In my opinion, the perfect weight loss plan is one that gives you the right amount of calories and nutrients and helps you get to a healthy weight. If someone had watched me lose weight they might have criticized me for eating processed foods, but the truth is that I ate a well-balanced diet that included a variety of foods.

What’s your thought? Does it really help us to be critical of each other for how we lose weight and is there really room for just one weight loss plan?  Diane

The other day I wrote about the possibility of eating healthy on a budget. There were lots of great responses to that blog post and I hope that you will read it if you missed it. Also, don’t forget to enter the giveaway for a $25 gift card from Subway!

If you search the web for how to save money, you will inevitably run into a lot of sites that recommend using coupons to save money. In fact some websites tell you that you can cut your grocery bill in half by using coupons.

I have not found that to be true in my case. Last week, I pulled out the coupons from my local newspaper and from the entire bunch, I found about four or five that I might use. They were for toothpaste, deodorant, dog treat, other toiletries, canned fruit, and one cereal coupon. That was it.

It seemed that about 98 percent of the food coupons in the paper were for processed foods that we really don’t eat. Coupons for Hot Pockets, Lean Cuisine, boxed salad fixings, Mexican dinner in a box, or ice cream really do not help me save money because I’m not going to buy those foods just to use a $1.00 coupon.

Coupons for toiletries sometimes save me money because with certain coupons, I do pay less for the name brand item than I would the store brand or less common brand. I’ve gotten toothpaste for free sometimes and paid just a few cents for razors and other non-food products – and that makes me happy.

As you can imagine, with a family of nine, our food budget is quite high. In fact, we spend almost as much on food as we do on our mortgage. That really pains me to write that, but it is true! I know I do save a substantial amount money (and improve our health) by making most of our food from scratch, not buying a lot of processed foods, and taking advantage of sales on chicken and produce. That being said, I’m always looking for ideas to help me save even more money.

I’d love to know if any of you have successfully saved money on your food budget by using coupons. Please share! Diane

Once you make these rolls you may never again be able to convince your family that the fluffy white dinner rolls found for a few dollars in the grocery store are any good. Not only do these rolls taste great, but they are full of healthy nutrients like fiber, healthy fats, and protein. I hope you enjoy!

[gmc_recipe 870]

If you have any questions, please let me know!