So do you? Have a food friend I mean? Is there someone in your life with whom you enjoy eating food? Or was there someone you enjoyed eating with before you started on your journey to get and stay healthy?
I had a food friend during my obese years. Actually I had several of them. The funny thing is – they weren’t weight challenged like I was. No – they were 100% average sized. But boy did they love to eat and cook!
I had one friend who loved to eat fast food at all times of the day and night. We might be out running errands together, and all it took was for one of us to suggest, “Hey, do you want to run through and get a sandwich?” And off we went. I wasn’t embarrassed to eat in front of her because she was doing it too. I felt so comfortable eating with her that I’d often order a milk shake and a dessert to go with my triple Cheeseburger, large fries, and diet coke.
She and I also enjoyed grabbing cookies and Cinnabon muffins at the mall and eating them at the food court tables. I felt accepted and affirmed. When we were shopping together I often felt as though she was encouraging me to eat, and if she was eating that kind of food then it was probably okay for me to eat it too. But unlike me, my food friend probably didn’t go home and eat a dozen cookies when no one was looking.
As I began losing weight, my friend still wanted to eat junk with me. But I didn’t want to eat that kind of food anymore. It became a little bit awkward. We’d be out somewhere and she’d suggest grabbing a half a dozen cookies from the cookie shop to split, and when I said that she could, but I was going to pass, she got a little miffed. She’d say, “One or two cookies isn’t going to make any difference Diane.” I’d say, “I know, but I just don’t want them right now.”
When we were at her house for dinner similar snide comments were made about the amount of food I was eating. Or sometimes I felt as though she purposefully prepared foods she knew I loved just to tempt me. She’d be relentless in offering me chocolate cookies and barely take no for an answer. But I did refuse her over and over again. It got to be a little bit amusing to me after a while. I was changing from the inside out and she was obviously uncomfortable with it.
I think she thought that if I wasn’t eating chocolate cookies any more than perhaps she shouldn’t either. I never told her that, but that was most likely her thought process. In case you are wondering, this is a different friend than the one who made mean, snide comments to me as I was losing my weight. This particular friend really just had a really hard time with my change in eating habits. The funny thing is, I think that she was genuinely happy for me as I lost weight, but she missed the Diane who would eat with her at all times of the day and night. Kinda like her “drinking buddy” had gone cold turkey.
I never confronted her about it, but did make a few jokes now and then. They seemed to sail right over her head, although after I had gotten down to my goal weight she did stop offering me food and trying to get me to “fall off the wagon” at the mall! We stayed friends unlike my other girlfriend. I suppose she just needed time to readjust her expectations of who I was and who I was going to be from there on out.
Is there someone in your life who is a food friend? How are they handling the change in your food choices and attitude towards life? Diane